I don't know if you know this or not but I've always had a strange love life.
I know it's hard to imagine that, but it's true!
Whether it be soul crushing she-beasts, whiny bitches, stuck up prudes, texter gurls, players, preggo's or 11 second fucks...my current resume on relationships adds up to a giant: what the fuck were you doing? The answer, of course is: I was in my mid-to-late twenties and that is waaaaay too early in life to start making mature choices.
I'll save that for my late 30's.
I've been living my love life like a five paragraph essay on manatees that your teacher gave you three weeks ago but you waited to do the night before.
Who gives you three weeks to write about manatees anway? They fucking float and get hit by boat propellers! The. Fucking. End.
But back on point. Here I've been kind of drifting through the dating game while my friends get serious with women and start to settle down and my brothers get married to women I wouldn't wish on a manatee and I see my parents growing old together...and all the while I still remain single; the dating equivalent of an alky on welfare.
Then I start dating a girl.
Don't get me wrong, this chick isn't the love of my life or anything. But she does make me happy for the time being. And we are cutesy with eachother. That's right. Me! Cutesy! It's a rare sight. Like a manatee without propeller scars. And what's with my manatee obsession today, anyway? But back to the crux of this gag.
There are always haters.
I've been through almost every kind of change that exists in dealing with other peoples relationships. I've had good friends go from being you best bud to your kind of best bud to your monthly texter bud...all because they met a girl. The girl became the only thing that mattered and the only thing they concerned themselves with. I've had brothers who marry girls so stupid and pathetic it's a joke and then, 3 months later, they need a shoulder to lean on when the marriage falls apart. I've had parents who decide they may be growing apart and need a listening ear.
I've seen it all and kept my mouth shut.
I have rarely judged anyone on love.
But lo and behold me and my new gf get a little cutesy on Facebook or I want to spend time with her rather than someone else...And bam! Like I said: the haters. The: my how you've changed. The: oh I see how it is now. Never mind the fact that when I was around them 1) they shut me out or 2) got married without thinking or 3) talked my ear off about marriage.
So it pisses me off.
And it should.
Because everybody needs to be cutesy once in awhile.
- @